I decided to take off my engagement and wedding ring. They didn’t feel right anymore. They just felt like every time I put them on, I was pretending that my life was still perfect. It’s not. It’s a mess. With them on I felt like I was living a lie. They were a reminder of what I had and whenever I looked down at them I thought of the life I lost. The life we were supposed to have. I put another ring he had gotten me on my middle finger and to me, especially right now, that seems extremely fitting and even a little bit empowering.
My husband had given me a pre-wedding solitaire. It was small and had a narrow band. It was me, un-flashy, simple. When we were married he gave me a much larger beautiful solitaire with baguettes along each side. The wedding band was an antique, wide banded, inlaid diamonds. I never wore the wedding band and seldom the newer engagement ring. I preferred the simple ring but that was not the symbol of the marriage we were supposed to have. I now wear a very narrow gold band that is completely inconspicuous. I still need something on that finger (it’s been three years since his death). Again, this suits me, un-flashy and simple. I haven’t felt empowered yet. I still feel like it’s a matter of getting through a day instead of living it.
The hardest thing about all of this is there is no guide book and no right and wrong. Good for you for doing what feels right to you! It’s all about what makes us each as happy and at peace as we can be.
Though it may seem so right now, one day you will come to see your life isn’t “a mess”. It’s like when we takeoff or ascend through the clouds to come in to land: you’re just passing through clouds. But you will break through them and the light will reappear.
And please do try to remember, you didn’t lose the beautiful life you lived; you still have that and it will always be a part of who you are. What you have been given now is a new chapter(s) and I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but one day, you’re going to be thankful for what is to come.
Loss and Lashes 
My husband had given me a pre-wedding solitaire. It was small and had a narrow band. It was me, un-flashy, simple. When we were married he gave me a much larger beautiful solitaire with baguettes along each side. The wedding band was an antique, wide banded, inlaid diamonds. I never wore the wedding band and seldom the newer engagement ring. I preferred the simple ring but that was not the symbol of the marriage we were supposed to have. I now wear a very narrow gold band that is completely inconspicuous. I still need something on that finger (it’s been three years since his death). Again, this suits me, un-flashy and simple. I haven’t felt empowered yet. I still feel like it’s a matter of getting through a day instead of living it.
LikeLike
The hardest thing about all of this is there is no guide book and no right and wrong. Good for you for doing what feels right to you! It’s all about what makes us each as happy and at peace as we can be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Though it may seem so right now, one day you will come to see your life isn’t “a mess”. It’s like when we takeoff or ascend through the clouds to come in to land: you’re just passing through clouds. But you will break through them and the light will reappear.
And please do try to remember, you didn’t lose the beautiful life you lived; you still have that and it will always be a part of who you are. What you have been given now is a new chapter(s) and I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but one day, you’re going to be thankful for what is to come.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. You are absolutely right. The light will appear in time and even now at times I get fleck of it and that gives me hope.
LikeLike