Today would have been our 9 year wedding anniversary. I decided to get back into bed after the boys left and give myself some time to feel and cry today and grieve the life I lost along with Eddie. I scrolled through Facebook and the wedding pictures didn’t set me over the edge. What did was a video of an elderly ballerina with dementia who moved her arms and came alive with Swan Lake music playing. I cried because Eddie and I would never grow old together.We’ll never have the house we were going to build as our forever home. We’ll never have more summers at the lake. We’ll never have dinners together with the boys complaining “news is on”. We’ll never have our silly and sarcastic texts back and forth. We’ll never have us again. Today I’ll always be reminded of all of the “WE” things I won’t have anymore, no matter how big, little, good or bad that they were. What I will have though are the many AMAZING friends that show up and support me in every step that I take and the presence of Eddie with me through it all. For that today and everyday, I’m grateful.