Today went much better than expected. The anxiety and build up were much worse than anything else…as they always are.

When I walked into school today, I felt like nothing had changed. It was all just as it was, on October 16th. Yet, I was different. I had a terrible tragedy happen to me and somehow, I was still standing. If I got through the past six weeks, I could handle anything work threw at me. My coworkers and friends have my back and will hold me up, when I’m struggling to stand. This was so clear to me today with all of the calls, texts, visits and hallway chats. You all showed up. I know it wasn’t easy. Nothing about any of this is easy. It’s downright awful and hard to know what to say, but you did it anyway…just by saying something. Even though, it’s an awkward situation, you got over it and just talked to me. It didn’t even matter what you said. What mattered is that you said something. To me, that meant everything.

Being back today, in my element, helped me regain some of my identity. While grieving Eddie, I had lost some of myself. At school though, I was in my place. A place that was me, not us. Today reminded me that without him, I was still me. Maybe even a better version of me…pretty damn amazing and with my army, capable of much more, than I ever knew I was.