As I was cleaning out our mail/paper storage area in the laundry room, I came across a card. It was a card that I had gotten Eddie for Valentines Day this past year. I had put it there because I didn’t give it to him. I was too busy and forgot to write it out this year. Then I figured I’d just save it for next year. If only I knew. There would be no next year with him. No more celebrations. No more him.

I was immediately filled with sadness and regret. The tears streamed down my face.

I could never give this to him. I would never be able to tell him all of the things I loved about him and how much I appreciated him. Sure I told him, but did I tell him enough? Did he know how much I really loved him? How much I appreciated all of his sacrifices for us? He was gone and I’d missed any more chances to show him how I felt and tell him anything. So much left unsaid and undone.

I know, that giving him this card wouldn’t have changed anything. However, finding it just reminds me that I’ll never have him again. He knew how I felt about him. I just have to trust that everything I said and did was enough.