This was posted in one of my widow groups today and as I read it I just thought… “Wow, yup. That’s exactly it”. For those that say they can’t imagine, here it is. I know you can imagine it and I hope you never experience it.

My entire life has felt so different. As it has passed the 12 week mark, it’s starting to settle into what our new normal is. It doesn’t mean it’s easy or fun, but just starting to feel more routine.

I have had to relearn everything that I’ve known for the past 12 years. Nothing was as it used to be. Absolutely nothing. Even if he didn’t play an active role in every aspect of my life, he was a part of each of them. A part that is missed.

We had spent the most significant part of our adult lives together. We grew in our professions together. We went from young and single to a family of four together. We became “adults” together. We created and did our daily routine together. We made our home together. We built our family traditions together. We did all of our big life events together.

It’s hard. It hurts. It sucks. Time keeps going and the only thing I can do is adapt and change with it all. Hoping that one day soon, the new normal doesn’t hurt as much.

Now I was left to go at it all, without him. Our family doesn’t feel complete. Our daily routines feel heavy and dull. I constantly feel like something is missing. He is missing.