This week didn’t suck. It was the first whole week, minus a few steps back on Saint Patrick’s Day, that was okay. Instead of falling in the ditch and needing to crawl out that day though, I just teetered and kept moving.

For me this is huge.

It was just the reminder that I needed, that eventually, everything will be okay. My life will be entirely different, in every single aspect…but it’ll be okay.

As spring begins, it makes me think of how another season was starting without Eddie. They would all be without him. Life keeps going, whether we are ready for it to or not.

In a way, the darkness of winter and covid were “good” for me. They made me slow down and really mourn. They made me reevaluate my life and what I want for the boys and I, as we keep going. Most importantly though, they made me just be. I was able to keep to myself when I wanted and not feel guilty because it was a nice day outside. I could stay in bed a little later because it was still dark out. I didn’t have to make up reasons to not see people if I didn’t feel up to it because no one was doing anything anyways. I wasn’t busy running to a million activities because nothing was happening.

I was able to give the boys and I all of my time and energy, rebuilding our life and putting the pieces back together.

As the weather slowly warms up and the days are getting longer, I’m feeling more energy and more optimism for what’s to come. Whatever it is, I’m ready for it and know it’ll be okay.