This morning, a grief storm knocked me on my ass. It caught me totally off guard, much like the thunder and lightening last night. It came in with a blinding boom and shook me.

The Fire Department was responding to an accident across from the school parking lot. He should have been there. He shouldn’t be dead. I shouldn’t have to do this. He would never be responding to accidents or fires again. I’d never run into him by chance again. He was gone.

It all came at me and there was nothing I could do. I tried to hold it together, but with each step I took, it was harder to breathe. As I walked into school, I had to tell myself I could do this and remind myself to take deep breaths. I had a few minutes until the kids would see me and had to pull my shit together. I rushed to my support (love you) to talk me down and as soon as I saw her I lost it. After a few hard minutes, the storm was over.

This storm, came out of nowhere and like the thunder and lightening last night, some people didn’t even notice it. There was nothing I could do to prepare for it and it was hard to recover, but I did…with my support system and all the love that I have in my life. I didn’t choose what happened, but I can choose how I react and recover.

Even after the short bought of explosive thunder and fiery lightening last night… the sun was out this morning. The storms are temporary.

As much as the storms suck, there’s no way to predict or prevent them. I’m choosing to focus today on all of the sunshine I have instead.