I honestly thought today would have been easier.

I woke up to memory alerts on my phone… 2018. Everyone was smiling and there were a lot of family pictures. That stung.

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him and not a day will go by, that I won’t miss him. The last year has been all about figuring out how to live with that.

Some days it’s easier than others, but when holidays come around it’s just a reminder, that any tradition that he was involved in…is over.

New traditions have started, new memories are being made and while they are amazing, there’s a tugging sting that is always there. It’s a chronic pain… a strong guilt for being here and continuing to live a life without him.

The only choice we’re left with, is to be grateful for what we do have and keep going, which is easier said than done… but everyday we just try and we do the best we can.