Well this is 40… I am certainly not where I thought I would be at 40 years old.

Part of me thought that if I never celebrated 40, Eddie didn’t really die. I know that sounds really crazy, but in my head it made sense. The more time passes, the more we are forced to acknowledge it. It does and will always suck. There’s no way to sugar coat that.

39 was a year of learning and trying new things. It was a year of finding my way in my new life.

Along the way, I grieved (and continue to grieve), dealt with awful tenants, fought with the town of Colonie to keep the business, talked to and paid more lawyers than I thought one person ever needed, made decisions I didn’t think I was capable of, got a new job, met amazing new people, rekindled friendships from the past, started dating an amazing guy, had lots of girl time with true friends, redid almost every room in my house, focused on me and what I need, had hours of therapy, done countless school projects, got a new appreciation for kids soccer, bought a new car, became more independent and confident…but most importantly- I learned to smile, laugh and enjoy life.

Of course none of this has been easy and I know it’s not smooth sailing from here on out. I’m just choosing today, in this moment, to focus on all that I do have.

This is 40… and so far, this is fabulous.