This was something my friends and I talked about a lot right after Eddie died. Truth is (and I know you know this) there’s no manual for what the hell to do when your husband dies suddenly. I asked things like was it ok to look “pretty” and wear makeup? When do I “have to” stop wearing my wedding rings? Will I ever love again? Will I feel normal? The amount of things I had to think about and answer in a matter of days was insane. All of a sudden everyone knew every deep dark secret and I was more vulnerable than ever.
What do you do?
When I got the news I was obviously in a state of shock. How could this happen? My life was everything I wanted and now it wasn’t and I couldn’t do a thing about it. I know it sounds silly, but my first thing I did was take off my mascara I had just applied. It was the one thing I could control in that moment. Another thing I could control is what I was wearing. Sure I may have grabbed what I wore after work the night before (a cute lounge outfit with tieks) but it felt like me. I needed to grab on to anything I could that felt like me because my world was just shattered.
Hey there…
Life is totally unfair, but if you’ve stumbled here, I’m sure you already know that. I’m Maran and I’m a 38 year old widow. My life was shattered on October 17, 2020 when my husband of 9 years killed himself. It came out of nowhere. I was left in shock with two little boys (4 and 7), lots of questions and pain. Eddie was a successful business owner, veteran, Fireman and all around happy, fearless and amazing guy. No one saw this one coming.
So let’s get real… who actually thinks this stuff happens?! I didn’t. Never in a million years would I have thought this would be my life. I didn’t ask for this! We planned a life together and it was ripped away without warning. Not only does that all suck, but navigating through the first week with visitors, tons of food that you don’t eat, planning the services and answering questions you never thought you’d be asked so young, was all awful.
Loss and Lashes 