The pressure of grieving… There is so much pressure to grieve in the right way, the expected way. I feel like if I’m not crying all of the time… or sad… or talking about Eddie… people don’t think I loved him enough. I loved him with all of my heart and I always will.

Just because I’m smiling, laughing or talking about something other than him, doesn’t mean I am “over him”. It just means that I am moving forward with my life, without him, in the best that I can. I’ll never be “over him” and I don’t ever want to be. He was a huge part of my life for over 12 years and I’m where I am today because of him. He will always be a part of me.

I feel like when I am laughing, talking or writing about something fun and light, I’m judged for not missing him enough or not being sad enough. Trust me, I’m plenty sad, I miss him everyday and I don’t need to prove that to anyone.

There is no right way to grieve. My grief is different than anyone else’s. The way I feel on a daily basis, at any given moment is different than how anyone else feels. There is no normal. There are no rules and there shouldn’t be any expectations. My grief is my grief.