There are a lot of things that I’m learning as I go, but here are some big ones that I wanted to share.

1. Get life insurance

In my early 30s, when one of Eddie’s friends talked to him about the life insurance he was doing part time, Eddie set up a meeting and signed us up. I rolled my eyes, wondering why we would need that. That was 7 years ago. So glad we had it. It’s just that…insurance. You hope you never need it, but you are beyond grateful when you need it and you have it.

2. Have a will

After the boys were both born, being the paranoid person I am, I what if’d something happening to me…or both of us. Losing Eddie was surprisingly never on my worry list because he had convinced me he was invincible and going nowhere. My therapist calls this “false comfort”…so true. As soon as he died, I was asked if we had a will and I am so glad we did. It was a generic one from Legal Zoom and very simply said that if he died, I got everything and the boys and if I died, he got everything and the boys. It has saved months of legal issues.

3. Have the talk about burial

Having to decide whether to bury or cremate Eddie, was of course something I didn’t think I’d have to do anytime soon. We had discussed it, but honestly I couldn’t remember in that moment. Of course it’s something you have to be decisive about, it’s a pretty finite decision, so make sure you know. I questioned whether or not I had recalled what he said correctly. Luckily, his brothers remembered their conversation with Eddie more clearly than I had, so I knew we made the right decision.

No matter how much any of us don’t want to think of bad things happening, they can. I certainly hope they don’t happen to you… trust me. I wouldn’t wish any of this nightmare on anyone. Being informed and prepared doesn’t mean it will happen… it just means that if it does, you may have a few less stresses to deal with.