Over the past four months, I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I need.

I need people to love me. Keep texting. Keep checking in. Keep sending the notes. Keep loving me. Some days, something you may think is so little, means more than you could realize.

I need people to be open. This is all uncharted territories. We shouldn’t have lost someone so young and full of life, but we did. None of us are feeling the same things or thinking the same things, at the same times.

I need people to be patient. There are some things that are a huge undertaking that I haven’t gotten to yet. Even though I haven’t been able to write the thank you cards yet, everyone’s generosity in my darkest time, has meant so much to me and I do not take it for granted.

I need people to listen when I want to talk and just be there when I don’t. I don’t want to rehash Eddie’s death every time I talk to people. If I want to talk about it, I will. If you want to ask how I’m doing and leave the door open for my response, please do…but don’t be taken back if I respond with “normal” life events.

I need people to let me move forward. Whether you agree with any of my choices or not, they are not your choices to make. Please keep any opinions to yourself. You can speculate, but have no idea how you would feel if you were dealt the hand I was. I am taking things as they come and doing what I feel is right. I need to do what is best for myself, Max and Zac and to be happy. I choose to be happy…and I deserve it.