Last week would have been my 10 year wedding anniversary. I scheduled a therapy session for that afternoon and I braced myself for an emotional meltdown.

To my total surprise, as I checked Facebook in the morning, I didn’t have one. I was okay.

I looked at the pictures and remembered the amazing memories of my wedding. I smiled. I wasn’t sad. They happened and they were wonderful. No one could take them from me. They were mine to react to… and choose how I reacted to them.

For the first time since Eddie died, I was looking at pictures of us and I wasn’t filled with sadness. I chose to live in the happiness of the memory. I didn’t let it pull me down. I acknowledged it, smiled and let it go…I was fortunate to have had it.

For me, this was huge.

When I met my bestie out that afternoon for drinks, she commented that I seemed lighter. She was right. Some how, like a switch turned on… I was one of those “half full”people.

I can’t say it’s all the time, but it’s a hell of a lot more often than it was before.

I’ve realized that in order to be happy, I have to give my next book the chance to succeed.

Some days still suck… some moments kick my ass, but I’m going to celebrate the baby steps as I move forward.